Jorge’s Lighthouse story

There was once a lighthouse which was gleaming above a town in the town every one was having a great time, except for one grumpy man who lived in the lighthouse that was on gigantic cliff that was above some sharp,dagger like rocks.The cliff was also above the sea.The fierce,deadly waves were crashing against the pointy, jagged rocks. Crashing against the towered cliff the waves made a loud CRASH!In the lighthouse there was a lighthouse keeper. The grumpy, forgotten man, was writing an important and crucial letter.

Suddenly he heard a loud crash. The lighthouse keeper wondered what it was.After that the window blew open.The bright, gleaming candle got blown out because of the cold, strong wind. It was very dark and the lighthouse keeper went to get a lantern, but he tripped over his chair!Keeper started running up the stairs to see what it was,when the lighthouse keeper got to the top keeper saw that the clogs that powered the light had stopped working! Next he ran through a door that goes to the light in the lighthouse and put his tool-box behind him.He looked in the cage that meant to have the bulb in and there was NOTHING there!!!

The lighthouse keeper lifted up the cage, but keeper tripped over his tool-box  and the cage smashed!Next he heard a loud horn, there was a ship coming!Then he saw lots of lights in the distance. The man, who was worried,terrified wondered what he was going to do.The lighthouse keeper ran downstairs as fast as keeper could and yanked open the door to see what it was.There was nothing there, but then a huge light was coming up the hill.It was the town’s people they came to help.They all ran upstairs and some of them stayed at the bottom of the lighthouse.Then the ship did a huge turn and just missed hitting the cliff.Afterwards the town,s people and the lighthouse keeper were re-united once again.(Hooray)

The End

8 responses to “Jorge’s Lighthouse story

  1. Jessica and Nathan

    Your story is very interesting with a lot of descriptive and adjectives, and you could include some more commas into your story.

  2. This was really good!Your choice of words was fab,and there was a lot of info.

  3. I think your right that I should of put a few more commas in. I was thinking that when I was reading it. Thanks for the tip. 🙂

  4. Henry and Kayban

    A great story, we like your 2A sentences. Remember you only need one exclamation mark(!). There is a lot of description about the rocks which I like.

  5. Justine and megan T

    wow Jorge you have put lot’s of punchuation in your story.

  6. Alfie and Georgina

    What a brilliant story you have written Jorge.
    It is really good because the adjectives are really good!
    I think you should improve on by more paragraphs.

  7. Great story Jorge. Reminds me of J.K Rowling!

  8. Well done Jorje. You certainly used many descriptive words. You should try to use some different connectives. Most of your sentences seem to begin with ‘the’ or ‘then’. How about beginning with an adjective? For example, ‘Carefully the lighthouse keeper lifted up the cage’.